Archive for the 'Politico' Category

Mondo North Korea

Not feeling particularly psyched about the direction your America’s headed in these days? Celebrate your freedom to watch something other than state-sponsored, propaganda-charged television and check out this crazy three part Vice Guide to North Korea.

Wherever we’re headed has got to be better than this…

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

And if you get done with that and you’re crazy tank’s still got a little room left in it. Top it off with some sad, strange, powerful, beautiful and scary and check out “A State of Mind” an awesome doc that follows two North Korean schoolgirls and their families in the lead up to the Mass Games.

Then take a break, have a big fat juicy red steak, whistle the “National Anthem,”thank your lucky stars you didn’t grow up in a totalitarian Stalinist dictatorship (unless you did) and then check out “Crossing The Line,” a doc about a former U.S. Army soldier, James J. Dresnok, who defected to North Korea on August 15, 1962.

Happy MR. Reverend Doctor King JR. Day!

*Thanks to superjsuh for posting.

Pour Some Out For Edward Kennedy

(February 22, 1932 – August 25, 2009)

May we learn to fight as hard as he did.

Obama’s Bulletproof Suit?

We met like low-rent international spies under the cover of a Robek’s umbrella on the corner of Wilshire and Detroit and left hoisting invisible trophies of useless knowledge…

Thanks to Christopher Smith for not only pointing out the amazing, bow-legged, beared, Flintstone jacket-wearing tranny that lumbered by when we went to lunch the other day…

and passing along dated documents with information relating to a long-awaited Rock-a-Fire Explosion documentary, a Danzig/Shakira youtube mash-up and some other junk I missed, but educating me about the one Wired article I didn’t read this month.

CLICK HERE to see one more reason why homie doesn’t flinch at the mic when hate-filled, gun-toting hillbillies are abound.


No really. We do.

And aside from his recent silence on the Israel/Hamas conflict and that Reverend Meeks business, I think he’s pretty awesome.

And he’s black.

No really. He is.

How crazy is that?

Shouldn’t be, but it’s so crazy!

Anyway, enough on that. Speech was great as usual and well-balanced. Obama’s typical brand of inspiration paired with a much-needed heavy dose of reality. The gist was basically we’re pretty fucked right now, but if we can pull our heads out of our asses and work for a common purpose the way we haven’t in a long time, shit will eventually get better and the U.S. will return to being the great power it once was.

Not sure what brought me closer to tears, seeing that quick flash of Barack’s “I can’t believe I’m President” smile as he moved to the podium to take the oath of office, watching Bush board a helicopter bound for civilian life, or the sight of Chump Chaney being rolled out in a wheel chair like some evil family patriarch being hauled off to the home after flashing the grandkids.

Never mind. Scratch that. It was definitely the smile.

So, in case you’re one of the rapidly decreasing number Americans who actually has a job and missed it today, here’s the Inauguration and Address:

Dear Mr. President-elect, time to stop glad-handing and put your fist down

We all know Bush is a pussy and busy packing his bags.

But why the fuck hasn’t Barack said anything about this Israeli dirty business?

It’s bad enough that they banned foreign journalists, but then to bomb them where they sleep? Which is nothing compared to the approximately 698 innocent civilians they’ve slaughtered. And now they bomb a fucking UN refugee compound?!

Have to hand it to Israel. With the current President halfway out the door and the President-elect still picking out curtains, they couldn’t have picked a better time to savage the whole of Gaza.

And not a word from Obama?! I’m not asking him to hold a prime-time press conference. A simple comment would do.

I get it. Barack’s afraid of ruffling feathers of Jewish voters before he takes office, but if he can talk to the press about the financial crisis, about his mother-in-law moving into the White House and helping his children pick out the family dog, he sure as shit can hold one to condemn Israel for banning press, bombing press, killing a ridiculous numbers of civilians and bombing a UN refugee compound.

Even France stepped up today to condemn Israel’s bombing of the UN building. But not the U.S.

And here I thought we were the only country that could get away with such a belligerent use of force against our “enemies.”

If this was Lebanon, Syria, Iran, any Arab country — fuck it — any other country (well maybe not an poor African one) pulling this shit, the air campaign would’ve been over a week ago and we’d be dick deep in a ground invasion.

And so now I ask you, dear Mr. President-elect, the very same question the morose and sagacious Robert Spritzel asks of his maladroit son in The Weatherman, “Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing?”

Time to step up Mr. Big Smile. We didn’t elect you to ignore problems. We elected you to help us solve them.

Sleep Never Seeks Cartographer to Redraw Map of Middle East.

Skilled in the art of mapmaking?

Over this Israel/Hamas “he hit me first,” bullshit?

Me too. Totally fucking over it.

I have friends on both sides. I used to see both sides. Now I see neither.

It’s like the Crips and Bloods, but instead of thugs rolling through Watts in lowered Cultlasses strapped with Tech 9’s and AK’s, we’ve got soldiers rolling through Gaza in Merkavas and militia lobbing Katyusha rockets willy-nilly into southern Israeli. How is it that these two international political forces can’t stop shedding each other’s blood for more than 2 hours when two street gangs who don’t have a GED between them have somehow found it within themselves to call seize fires time and time again?

I’m pissed. I’m sick of watching children die at the hands of jaded, stubborn, ignorant warmongering men.

Did Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert actually use the term “iron fist” today? Seriously? What century is this?

And Hamas leader Ismail Haniyeh, saying the militants were “closer to victory.” Victory? I’m curious as to what this idiot would consider a win. Right now it’s Israel 900 Hamas 13. Must have one hell of a half-time speech prepared.

But just because they want live like barbarians doesn’t mean we have to. Let’s do the world a favor, take initiative and redraw the map of the Middle East so that future generations can live in peace.

And while we embrace the art of cartography I want Israel and Hamas to face the corner. If you can’t play nice, you can’t play at all.

1st off, Jerusalem is done. No more Holy Lands. No more 4 quarters. Sorry, Armenians. I know you aren’t involved in the current Middle East conflict, but the fact is we’ve never been friends.

Remember me? Use to live on Gramercy Place? I was the guy that walked by you on the way to the coffee shop every single day while you sat playing backgammon and smoking cigars on the couch you kept on your lawn.

I’d smile and say “hello” every day and every day you’d just glare back at me, maybe mumbling something under your breath in Armenian or tossing an empty bag of whatever you were grazing on at the time, to the ground?

When I asked the one genuinely friendly Armenian I’d met after living your hood for five years about my quandaries regarding your cultural views on social etiquette and neighborly greetings, he simply explained that if my people had been fucked throughout history as much as his people had, I’d understand.

My people? I don’t have people. I have only me and I don’t have time for bad vibes. So if you want to prove me wrong, hit me up, I’m down for a game of backgammon, but until then, you’ve lost your quarter.

Christians. You may not be strapped today, but don’t act like you’re above it. Besides the fact that I attended to Catholic grade school where 2 of the 4 priests on staff were defrocked for child molestation (see #27 Hogan and #64 Romano), we all remember the Spanish Inquisition, The Crusades, that crazy fucker Constantine, all that bad stuff so PACK.YO.SHIT.

There is no god. Get over it. Get the fuck along and focus on the now because that’s all you’ve got you retarded shitbags!

Tear the shrines down! Temple of the Mount, The Western Wall, The Church of the Holy Sepulchre, Dome of the Rock, al-Aqsa Mosque, all of them. Raze that shit.

In it’s place I propose a new development:

JERUSALEM TWO: THE VEGAS OF THE MIDDLE EAST! The land will be developed into casinos run by an international team of refugees affected by human rights violations and the money will be used to house the needy, to R&D fossil fuel alternatives and cancer, diabetes, MS, Alzheimer’s and HIV/AIDS treatments and cures, to contain and breed endangered species, to build a an amusement park for terminally ill children and all kinds of other positive shit.

Sound crazy? Sure. But unless you have a better plan…

Break out the papyrus.

Sock and Awe

is fun for the whole family.


Time Magazine’s “Person of the Year” 2008

Go ahead, take a wild guess at who it might be.

Hint: It’s not you and it’s not Vladimir Putin (That was last year).

You say you can’t stand the suspense? Click here to see Time’s “Person of the Year” 2008.

Sleep Never Presents Cold War Wednesday Double Feature

“Our Cities Must Fight” (1951)

“Survival Under Nuclear Attack” (1950)