Monthly Archive for December, 2001


Like the Crusades killed Muslims, pagan Slavs, Jews, Russian and Greek Orthodox Christians, Mongols, Cathars, Hussites, Waldensians, Old Prussians, and political enemies of the popes, Christmas cards kill trees, so this will serve as your KOSTRSCHUENESTETZENHELGANHOFFEN FAMILY virtual interweb Christmas greeting.

The picture below could technically be considered a Christmas card I guess, as it features Santa Claus, but it has the name of some L.A band on it and Katie and I look like a couple of glue-sniffing goth serial killers.

I took this one on Katie’s Blackberry a few seconds after we sat on Santa’s lap, and find it more meaningful than the formal posed photo in some esoteric deconstructionist way. Yes, that’s a glass of ice water, and yes it’s totally fucking up the felt on the pool table somebody left it on. No I didn’t pick it up. I left it there and whether the glass if half full or empty is up to you.

This is a picture of my girlfriend Katie and a dog named China that we borrowed for the holiday to tempt ourselves with the trappings of domesticity. China’s owners not only let us borrow the dog for the holiday, but also blessed us with the gift of fleas this holiday season.

China is an indoor dog and I’m fairly certain that if it is at all possible for dogs to suffer from down syndrome, that this dog has it. Not because her eyes are funny looking or anything, but because she’s slow. Maybe she’s just retarded or her mother smoked crack. I’m not sure, but I still talk to her like she’s a infant and carry her around like a gay 6 year old might carry around a doll. She does know to do a funny dance when she has to go #2, so that’s good.

This is what Jesus Birthday use to look like when the world was in black and white.

Much prettier, I have to say.

And this is the home of an eccentric gay black “recording artist” named Norwood Young who has an infatuation with Davids. The David is one of most recognizable sculptures in the world, a monument to the perfect male form, a paramount symbol of Renaissance art, so it makes sense I guess. Lucky for me “Youngwood Court” is less than a mile from my house.

I’m not sure what this is…

But it looks like a hippie in a diaper playing a penny flute.

Click the link below to download your…


1. Download the file to your desktop.
2. Drop the unzipped folder onto your ITUNES icon.
4. To listen to each album in the proper order (And this is super annoying, but super important) type the name of the album you’d like to listen to in the ITUNES search window. (either CKXMAS1 or CKXMAS2)
b) Hit RETURN.
c) Click VIEW and VIEW OPTIONS and make sure your track number option is checked so that the songs are played in the proper order.
d) Press PLAY and enjoy.