sleepnever.com

OK, maybe not “perfect,” but definitely “really good” or “good enough?” — whatever — Here’s the “leaked” official Coachella lineup (via Ryan Seacrest’s Blog of all places).

Lots of faves and peeps playing. Guess one more way to make the festival recession proof is to actually have good acts play.

Still don’t see a Sean Penn replacement though.

Maybe they could have Tom Cruise dress up as Maverick and have him drop some Scientology knowledge between headliners on the main stage. Throw the ghost of L. Ron Hubbard up on the jumbotrons and have them do some next-level interactive Dianetics spoken-word shit.

Fuck it — They could throw E-meters and Narconon booths out on the field and get stressed-out, fucked-up festival-goers “clear” and off drugs before they even reach the parking lot.

No more subconscious chatter about your dead pet guinea pig crippling your ability to form meaningful relationships, no more time, money and precious life force wasted, spent late nights dancing half-naked by the pool after the E you took turned out to be acid and Daft Punk left your brains splattered all over the Mojave tent canvas. No more body thetans. No more Xenu.

Just you and the “Eighth Dynamic.”