Tag Archive for 'barack obama'

“The Road/Collapse” Post-Thanksgiving/Pre-Post Apocalyptic Double Feature

As usual I went into this Thanksgiving weekend feeling not super thankful, but instead majorly annoyed by a series of minor everyday tragedies, like the fact that my favorite shoes are now a ½ size too small, that I keep losing pens, that everything in my room is constantly covered in this crazy magic black soot no matter how many times I dust or vacuum, that my back hurts and I fucked my mustache up shaving, that my head is getting bigger and my lips are getting smaller, that Dubai is broke and micro-pigs cost $3,000, that Andy Kaufman’s dead, and that nobody lost their life this year while bargain hunting on “Black Friday.”

An “ungrateful whiny pansy” one might have called me if one would’ve seen me early Saturday fretting over the temperature of my Intelligentsia latte, and one would’ve been right.

Because that was before I went to see “The Road” and “Collapse” back-to-back and the truth of how spectacular my life really is came into view. I honestly haven’t felt this thankful since the swine flu came back with a vengeance and forced all the filthy beasts who called me paranoid back in April to wash their hands.

Don’t believe me? Let me tell you futureless fuckers what I’m thankful for after seeing these two doom fests last weekend.

I’m thankful for gas, fresh water, electricity, shoes, the sun, wind and solar energy and what oil we have left, my bed, sheets, pillows, blankets, soap, pants, and legs to put in them, teeth, food, the fact that I’ve never been raped, had to birth a child naturally or been hunted by the CIA, that I know how to shoot a gun, build a fire, fight, and am willing to kill, butcher and eat another person if need be.

What are you thankful for? Not sure? Do your sorry self a favor and trade some of that gold your hoarding in for a couple of movie tickets this week.

“The Road” I give an A- even though it looks much like what the inside of my head looks like on a good day, bleak, bloody and terrifying.

The child lead is awesome. Much better than the “Where The Wild Things Are” kid. If that snore would’ve been cast in the Road, I’m guessing Viggo Mortensen would’ve just let him get eaten by those cannibal hillbilly’s you see in the trailer.

Everything else is awesome too, except for the last two minutes. Don’t ask me why or you’ll get a spoiler, but let’s just say it really reads, after suffering through 112 minutes of glorious desperation and brutality, like bean-counter Hollywood tack-on saccharine bullshit. (And no, I didn’t read the book. I was too busy writing my own.)

Next up I saw “Collapse” at the cheap theater and nearly asked for my five lousy dollars back. And not because it was bad, I give that one a solid B, but because I felt like I was just watching a fat, ex-cop, mustache-wearing, chain-smoking version of me yap for 88 minutes about shit I already know is, for the most part, true.

Spoiler Alert: We’re running out of resources and we’re totally fucked. The only thing you can do to survive is evolve and unfortunately for you the I-Phone doesn’t have an app for that.

Michael C. Ruppert, it’s safe to say, is a passionate person and passionate people often get misread by lame lifeless-types as crazy, but it’s passionate people who shape the fucking world, not head down, follow-the-leader, head-up-their-ass assholes, whose only concern is whether or not to ask for extra ketchup on their weekly trip to In N’ Out (I always do).

Passionless people throughout history have been consistently responsible for nothing. Unless that is, you consider wasting precious oxygen an achievement.

Columbus didn’t discover America while he was poking people on Facebook.

Einstein didn’t come up with his theory of relativity in while waiting for the next level of “Halo” to load.

Barack Obama didn’t become the first black president in U.S. history because he was just hanging out having a smoke or whatever for the last decade. They guy wanted it. Bad.

He wanted it like Tiger Woods wants strange vagina. Like Alec Baldwin wants to retire. Like whomever left this for me on the kitchen counter this morning…

Wanted me to have a crude drawing of a dick and hairy balls.

Barack truly believed, in his heart and soul, that he was so much more brilliant and qualified than anybody else on this dying planet to be the leader of the free world that that he sacrificed pretty much everything but his dong for the chance to run for president, his smokes, his sleep, his privacy, his safety, and any semblance of a normal life for his children, so that he could eventually be elected President of the United States of America. But you didn’t call him crazy. No.

You voted for him.

But they call this Ruppert crazy because he’s absolutely sure that the future of our planet is pretty much fucked, that the entire financial system is a pyramid scheme, that we’ll soon be out of resources and trading seeds as currency.

Nobody wants to hear that shit, not even from a guy who’s broken “major scandals” including “discovering an extensive drug trafficking operation run by the Central Intelligence Agency” and was the only person on the planet to predict the collapse of world financial system years before it happened.

Anyway, what I’m saying is that I feel for the guy. I know first hand what it’s like for have my inspiration misread as insanity or have some douchebag thinknothing at a party harsh my mellow for bumming his slutty sorority girl girlfriend out, after shaking her hand and Purelling mine, with a lecture about drug-resistant tuberculosis.

And apparently the director, Chris Smith (American Movie) did too, because even though he made a very subjective decision to bite Errol Morris’ style and stage the entire interview to look like an interrogation, and cut in enough paranoia cliché shots of Ruppert’s chain smoking for the viewer to die of second hand smoke, and questioned Ruppert’s credentials, and made sure to contrast the ex-LAPD officers views with the ironic truths of his everyday off-screen life, he did give the not-so-crazy bastard the floor for a good hour twenty to speak his mind.

And for that I give him two guns up.

man is the future of man,


“The Road” Trailer

“Collapse” Trailer

*Man “falling or dancing?” photo courtesy of Mark “Nutty Bars N’ Beer” Verbos. Balls and dick by Nick Damski.

Obama’s Bulletproof Suit?

We met like low-rent international spies under the cover of a Robek’s umbrella on the corner of Wilshire and Detroit and left hoisting invisible trophies of useless knowledge…

Thanks to Christopher Smith for not only pointing out the amazing, bow-legged, beared, Flintstone jacket-wearing tranny that lumbered by when we went to lunch the other day…

and passing along dated documents with information relating to a long-awaited Rock-a-Fire Explosion documentary, a Danzig/Shakira youtube mash-up and some other junk I missed, but educating me about the one Wired article I didn’t read this month.

CLICK HERE to see one more reason why homie doesn’t flinch at the mic when hate-filled, gun-toting hillbillies are abound.


No really. We do.

And aside from his recent silence on the Israel/Hamas conflict and that Reverend Meeks business, I think he’s pretty awesome.

And he’s black.

No really. He is.

How crazy is that?

Shouldn’t be, but it’s so crazy!

Anyway, enough on that. Speech was great as usual and well-balanced. Obama’s typical brand of inspiration paired with a much-needed heavy dose of reality. The gist was basically we’re pretty fucked right now, but if we can pull our heads out of our asses and work for a common purpose the way we haven’t in a long time, shit will eventually get better and the U.S. will return to being the great power it once was.

Not sure what brought me closer to tears, seeing that quick flash of Barack’s “I can’t believe I’m President” smile as he moved to the podium to take the oath of office, watching Bush board a helicopter bound for civilian life, or the sight of Chump Chaney being rolled out in a wheel chair like some evil family patriarch being hauled off to the home after flashing the grandkids.

Never mind. Scratch that. It was definitely the smile.

So, in case you’re one of the rapidly decreasing number Americans who actually has a job and missed it today, here’s the Inauguration and Address:

Dear Mr. President-elect, time to stop glad-handing and put your fist down

We all know Bush is a pussy and busy packing his bags.

But why the fuck hasn’t Barack said anything about this Israeli dirty business?

It’s bad enough that they banned foreign journalists, but then to bomb them where they sleep? Which is nothing compared to the approximately 698 innocent civilians they’ve slaughtered. And now they bomb a fucking UN refugee compound?!

Have to hand it to Israel. With the current President halfway out the door and the President-elect still picking out curtains, they couldn’t have picked a better time to savage the whole of Gaza.

And not a word from Obama?! I’m not asking him to hold a prime-time press conference. A simple comment would do.

I get it. Barack’s afraid of ruffling feathers of Jewish voters before he takes office, but if he can talk to the press about the financial crisis, about his mother-in-law moving into the White House and helping his children pick out the family dog, he sure as shit can hold one to condemn Israel for banning press, bombing press, killing a ridiculous numbers of civilians and bombing a UN refugee compound.

Even France stepped up today to condemn Israel’s bombing of the UN building. But not the U.S.

And here I thought we were the only country that could get away with such a belligerent use of force against our “enemies.”

If this was Lebanon, Syria, Iran, any Arab country — fuck it — any other country (well maybe not an poor African one) pulling this shit, the air campaign would’ve been over a week ago and we’d be dick deep in a ground invasion.

And so now I ask you, dear Mr. President-elect, the very same question the morose and sagacious Robert Spritzel asks of his maladroit son in The Weatherman, “Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing?”

Time to step up Mr. Big Smile. We didn’t elect you to ignore problems. We elected you to help us solve them.

Time Magazine’s “Person of the Year” 2008

Go ahead, take a wild guess at who it might be.

Hint: It’s not you and it’s not Vladimir Putin (That was last year).

You say you can’t stand the suspense? Click here to see Time’s “Person of the Year” 2008.

Worth A Thousand Words

Thanks to whomever snapped it and passed it along.

The Speech

If You Haven’t Read Your California General Election Official Voter Information Guide

Bring it with you to the polls and read it in line. You’ll have the time. Trust me.

Don’t ask for cheat sheets. Don’t cut corners. Read the shit yourself. Sure, many of the measures are poorly drafted and a bitch to read through, but it’s your vote. This is not some pop quiz in sophomore year geometry class. This is your life.


Need one more bump to get your ass out of bed? (Not that kind of bump, ya cokehead!)

Here’s Barack Obama’s “Yes We Can” speech remixed and re-visualized using Z-Trip’s mix, Shepard Fairey’s “Hope” pasting at Fresh Pressed Los Angeles, and Lenny Mesina’s editing.

Barack Obama x Z-Trip x Shepard Fairey x Fresh Pressed from Barack On! Obamathon on Vimeo.
Big ups to Mr. Mesina for sending this in.

Now I love Obama

As much as the next youngish moderate liberal, but that whole half-hour infomercial last night was a bit too Big Brother for me.

Prime time on 7 networks? For real?!

It was hard for me to watch. No matter how encouraging and reassuring the message was intended to be, it felt like the intent was fueled by an assumption that he will win. It played as more like a lube job for the first year of an Obama presidency than a way to guaranty a win.

If McCain did it, it would be an act of desperation, but this felt contrived. He didn’t need to convince his base. He’s already been accused of being too slick for some and I’m not sure that a blowing an truckload of money on this Hollywood teaser for the upcoming Ron Howard directed docu-drama epic ‘Obama the President,’ was the best way to persuade skeptical swing voters that he’s not.

Feel like it should have been shown after he wins next Tuesday or 30 years from now, after he’s done two terms as president, at the dedication ceremony of some giant marble Obama monument in the center of some palatial Washington D.C. park.

I’m watching it again now and of course I like what he’s saying. I love this motherfucker, but it’s still freaking me out.

Am I alone in this? Wouldn’t be the first time.

If you didn’t see it last night, here’s the first part: