Tag Archive for 'film'

INTRODUCTION OF THE “EPIDEMIC” FEATURE FILM

In order to, not only accommodate, but capitalize artistically on, the failing attention spans of our XYZ, MTV, ADD, IM/Internet, text message generations, I propose the concept of the Epidemic feature film.

In order to define the Epidemic feature film we must first redefine the Viral Video, as the definitions proposed by online dictionaries and other sources are lazy and vague.

I.E., the Hyperdictionary defines a viral video as “a video clip that achieves widespread distribution through online sharing,” and Dictionary.com references “a video clip or recording, esp. sent via email and which gains widespread popularity through sharing.”

And in order to define the Viral Video we must also clarify the definition of the “virus.”

Webster’s Online Dictionary’s specialty definition of the virus states “A virus is a small particle which can infect other biological organisms. Viruses are obligate intracellular parasites meaning that they can only reproduce by invading and taking over other cells as they lack the cellular machinery for self-reproduction. The term “virus” usually refers to those particles which infect eukaryotes (multi-celled organisms and many single-celled organisms), whilst the term “bacteriophage” or “phage” is used to describe those infecting prokaryotes (bacteria and bacteria-like organisms). Typically these particles carry a small amount of nucleic acid (either DNA or RNA) surrounded by some form of protective “coat” consisting of protein, or protein and lipid.”

My Mac Dashboard Widget Dictionary defines a virus as “an infective agent that typically consists of a nucleic acid molecule in a protein coat, is too small to be seen by light microscopy, and is able to multiply only within the living cells of the host.”

Whatever.

Accordingly, a virus is a virus as long as it infects more than one host.

And although the average length of the Viral Video varies, for purposes of the Viral Epidemic, I’m going to cap the length of usable Viral Videos at 6:00 as it will keep the creator from getting too lazy and encourage the inclusion of a more dynamic range of content.

The length of the Viral Epidemic feature film is to be reduced from that of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences defined traditional feature film minimum running time of 40 minutes. Instead, I propose the minimum running time of the Viral Epidemic be 20 minutes or more.

The construction may be completed by one director or many, statically or virally.

Therefore, with consideration of the guidelines provided above, I define the Epidemic feature film is 1) a feature film composed of Viral Videos edited together to create new meaning or to propose questions that the individual viral components on their own do not, or 2) short blasts of Internet-based video information strung together with conscious or subliminal intent, to create new meaning, however vague or well-defined that meaning may be.

And although I am author of this theory, I have yet to direct the first Epidemic. I’m short on time and totally stressed out as it is.

So if you’re just bored as fuck, or an idle genius, and want to direct the first ever Viral Epidemic, go for it, post it, let me know where the rules might be too strict or lax, where the concept succeeds and fails, and maybe I’ll edit the definition.

Don’t worry. I’m not expecting much, not at first. It’s just a theory after all. But do your best. Wow you, then worry about us.

Now get to work.

‘MY BLUEBERRY NIGHTS? IN THREE WORDS

WRONG KAR WAI