Tag Archive for 'Jesus Christ'

Monk Fight

Armenian vs. Greek Orthodox. Looks like the pit at a Minor Threat show circa 1982. Not sure who came out the victor in this battle. Pretty sure they’ll never be a winner of the war, but the bout went down at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem last Sunday.

Serafim, a Greek Orthodox Monk, calls bullshit on the Armenian team at the end of the video, says it started with a sucker punch. And who hits a man wearing glasses? Shit’s weak.

Last time the monks exchanged fisticuffs was on Palm Sunday. So considering that fact that it’s already on the regular, I say we do this right, in Vegas at the MGM. Somebody call Don King.

God is love.

Rejected by Messenger’s of God in Towson, MD, Sleep Never Offers Suggestion for Reading

Jehovah’s Witnesses Spread Word. Tolerance Not Included.

So I’m sitting on a bench on a cliff overlooking Santa Monica Pier yesterday, totally engrossed in the 1st hundred pages of the book I’m working on, and from behind me I hear a gentle older man voice say: ‘Excuse me there, young man.’

So I turn to find a fiftysomething beachcomber/science teacher looking guy: earth tone shorts, t-shirt, spectacles, beach hat and fanny pack, holding up his brown beach cruiser with one hand and offering a pamphlet to me with the other.

The rest of the brief conversation went something like this:

Beachcomber: I wanted to know if you’d be interested in reading some literature discussing the debate over creationism vs. evolution.

ME: And why are you asking me to read it? (I say this politely even though he’s interrupting me).

Beachcomber: What?

ME: What group do you represent that’s interested in having me read this?

Beachcomber: I’m a Jehovah’s Witness.

ME (very matter of fact): I’m against organized religion and I don’t believe in God.

Beachcomber (in a sweet yet condescending tone as if I’m kidding or not certain): You believe in God.

ME (plainly): No, I don’t. In fact (showing him the pile of pages before me) the entire concept of the book I’m writing is based on the failure of all organized religion throughout the ages.

And this is when his face twists, into something from a late night black and white B Horror flick as he searches for just the right words, then howls (totally oblivious to anyone else in the park who’s trying to enjoy their Sunday afternoon), ‘you know what else is a failure! I tell you about one movement that’s failed! Secular humanism! That’s a failure!’

And with that he rips the pamphlet back from my reach, throws it with the rest in his bike basket and makes a move to leave, then turns, eyes of vengeance upon me, and between big breaths screams ‘Communism and Socialism, those are two other failures!’

‘Whatever, Dude. Enjoy your hypocrisy,’ I say casually and wave goodbye and this only pisses him off more. He just stops and turns and glares at me, praying for the skies to open up, for his God to send a sunny day lightening bolt to smite me and I return to my book, to continue the good work, before he continues on to save another filthy soul.

Dear Religion Peddlers,

If you want to talk, let’s talk. I’m always down for a good debate. And if you’re going to interupt me to sell me an afterlife, at least let me peruse it first. Not even the most shady or least savvy of used car dealers will refuse to let you take a test drive, then berate you for not buying.

So until we meet again…

All about now,
Chris K.