Tag Archive for 'patriotism'

The 2008 Presidential Debate: On ‘Like Donkey Kong?’

After a day of dodging interviews, serving up plate-after-plate of piping hot bullshit and getting called out on it by friends and foes alike, it looked liked McCain’s batteries were running on empty last when Brian Williams asked him how he thought he played the bailout negotiation/campaign and debate delay sitch politically.

John strapped on one of his signature animatronic grins, blinked and blinked and blinked some more then mumbled something about getting the economy working again and having some plan to fix it.

And when Brian asked McCain whether he’d put his money on making the debates tonight, he made sure to declare himself a ‘betting man’ before refusing to bet, instead offering up some lame noncommittal shit about being ‘hopeful’ the debates would go on.

I’m am not a ‘betting man,’ but I’m fairly certain that Vegas does not honor ‘hopeful.’

But, as ‘luck’ may have it, I woke up today to find out that it’s on tonight at the University of Mississippi. The shit begins at 9 p.m. E.D.T. So bust out the Funyions and a .40 and sit your ass back down on the couch, ‘Young American!’

On the Palin tip, I though she was toast after the Charlie Gibson interview debacle, but Katie Couric somehow got her on the ropes with this softball:

COURIC: You’ve cited Alaska’s proximity to Russia as part of your foreign policy experience. What did you mean by that?

PALIN: That Alaska has a very narrow maritime border between a foreign country, Russia, and on our other side, the land boundary that we have with– Canada. It– it’s funny that a comment like that was– kind of made to– cari– I don’t know, you know? Reporters–

COURIC: Mock?

PALIN: Yeah, mocked, I guess that’s the word, yeah.

COURIC: Explain to me why that enhances your foreign policy credentials.

PALIN: Well, it certainly does because our– our next door neighbors are foreign countries. They’re in the state that I am the executive of. And there in Russia–

COURIC: Have you ever been involved with any negotiations, for example, with the Russians?

PALIN: We have trade missions back and forth. We– we do– it’s very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia as Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where– where do they go? It’s Alaska. It’s just right over the border. It is– from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there. They are right next to– to our state.

The stuttering, the backtracking… She answers like a drunk driver who’s been pulled over, is sober enough to knows she’s guilty, but is still way too drunk to talk her way out of walking the line.

I had to replay her belligerent response three times to make sure I wasn’t going insane. After these repeated viewings I was only more confused as it was now clear that Putin was again President of Russia and that Russia and Canada are now part of Alaska. Cartographers throw your hands up!

Forget everything else this gun-toting hockey mom has said (or not said) lately and imagine, for a moment, if what Sarah said was true. The imaginary union of Russkanada would most definitely make for the craziest state/country hockey team EVER and virtually monopolize the Winter Olympics for decades to come.

And one more thing’

Is this for real?

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