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I thought I was scared…

when Sara “everymom” Palin made the comment at the Republican National Convention about the difference between hockey moms and Pit Bulls being lipstick. Her lackluster service record, incredible inability to manage the budget of a tiny Alaskan town of just over 5,000 prior to being elected governor of Alaska, the rumor that she was tucked away in her hotel room for a week prior to the convention cramming for a crash course on foreign policy and the fact that I’ve had more foreign “affairs” than she has, only added to the shivers.

Trying to coax some of the defecting Republicans back to the GOP while at the same time attempting to woo the Hillary crowd seems to be the feat that just might stretch poor old McCain’s synapses into a deeper case of dementia.

When members of his own party are referring to his choice as political bullshit, how straight can the talk be?

But for me the fear really set in when old GI McCain waddled out onto the newly rebuilt “town hall style” stage before a rowdy mob of 20,000 narrow-minded, war-mongering robots last night.

The opening video presentation introduced McCain the everyman and dropped a poorly written, ill-timed joke about McCain being a “momma’s boy” and then dashed straight into the first of many chapters discussing GI McCain’s illustrious military career.

After spending a good 20% of his speech on his own war experiences and popping off the quotable “I’d rather lose an election than see my country lose a war,” McCain made sure to lamely point out his distaste for bloodshed.

An “Iraq War Veteran Against the War” threw up a banner and was quickly neutralized by security before somebody in McCain”s posse must’ve got the note that the images were going out live. After stripping the soldier of his banner, with no others options, security left the Vet to hand deliver his message, two simple peace signs.

A duo of female protesters were not so lucky. Less strategically placed in the belly of the slaughterhouse, they were manhandled by beefcakes in black suits and carried off like common criminals as McCain’s mob chanted “USA! USA! USA!” as if there was a gold medal on the line.

“Please don’t be diverted by the ground noise and the static,” McCain implored the crowd to a swell of cheers, illustrating his keen respect for free speech and added “Americans want us to stop yelling at each other.”

Huh?

And although I’m not always a fan of guerrilla protests I’ll admit that I was excited to see, one-by-one, signs thrown up above the heads of anti-McCain infiltrators until I realized that to the “USA” chanting masses these peaceful protests would only be seen as the tactless interruption of an American hero, not as an exercise of free speech, the protestor’s messages left to fall on deaf ears and in the end, further galvanize the red state hooligans against them.

But with so many Republicans voters voicing their concern over national security, McCain’s security team let there be no doubt on how descent would be handled during his administration: with muzzles and cuffs.

And I have to hand it to him, McCain’s message was clear: “Change is coming.”

Who he plagiarized the message from was also clear, but McCain’s definition of “change” was cloudy at best, as well as the details of his plans for the future of the country, and his attempts to educate the audience on his “opponents” plan incredibly misinformed.

Besides McCain’s preemptive thoughts of revenge on future pork barrel spenders, the promise of domestic oil drilling “now!” and tax cuts for corporations were the only topics that seem to put a twinkle in the Republican candidate’s animatronic eyes.

Sure the “dependable renegade” made some mention of putting some dollars aside (though a number or percentage went unmentioned) for alternative energy, but if he’s truly attempting to separate himself from the Bush administration it’s probably not the wisest choice to end his acceptance speech by goading the crowd into a chant of “fight, fight, fight!”